


The Lament of a Lieutenant (And Everyone Else on the Ship)

by eafay70



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Outsider, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22281118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Lieutenant Alexander Kerfoot of the USSAvalanchedeals with two mutually pining idiots: navigator JT Compher and helmsman Tyson Jost.
Relationships: Alexander Kerfoot/Morgan Rielly, J. T. Compher/Tyson Jost, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin, Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53
Collections: 2 Hots: #boysarehot Avs Valentines 2020 fic challenge





	The Lament of a Lieutenant (And Everyone Else on the Ship)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Bluejay141519](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519) in the [2hots](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2hots) collection. 

> **Prompt:**  
can include kerfy if you want too! A space au that focuses on the three rookies :)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Loving "Star Trek" runs in my family, so I greatly enjoyed writing this! :D
> 
> Characters and relationships who are mentioned but don't do enough to warrant a tag:  
-Nikita Zadorov/Philipp Grubauer  
-Pavel Francouz/Martin Kaut (though the latter isn't named)  
-Cale Makar/Sam Girard  
-Erik Johnson/Nate MacKinnon  
-Ryan Graves/Mark Barberio  
-Willy Nylander  
-Mitch Marner  
-Morgan Rielly  
-Nick Foligno, Elvis Merzlikins, Joonas Korpisalo, and Columbus Blue Jackets Ensemble  
-Justin Williams and Carolina Hurricanes Ensemble  
-Ben Bishop/Anton Khudobin  
-Miro Heiskanen/Roope Hintz  
-Esa Lindell and Dallas Stars Ensemble  
-Brad Marchand/Patrice Bergeron
> 
> A very big thanks to J for the beta read! And thanks to the Avsfam Discord for all the fun!!

Lieutenant Alexander Kerfoot looked across the bridge of the USS _Avalanche_ and sighed. It was his seventh day at the conn, and while things were mostly going smoothly, his navigator and helmsman were driving him nuts.

They were both excellent crewmembers – in fact, if the ship had been allowed to promote more than one lieutenant first grade per year, Alexander was certain both JT Compher and Tyson Jost would now share his title. JT was quick at setting courses, while Josty could steer away from cosmic storms without breaking a sweat. And, perhaps just as importantly, they got along well with everyone else on board; in fact, Alexander considered them his best friends.

The problem was their relationship with each other, specifically the fact that they were best friends not acting on the fact that they were clearly in love. They glanced at each other almost constantly, exchanged (admittedly cheesy) flirtatious lines on a regular basis, and tended to scoot their chairs as close together as possible. While everyone on the _Avalanche_ was aware of the situation, Alexander hadn’t realized how bad it was until he’d taken the comm, which included a permanent view of the two of them. It was agonizing.

“Kerfy, we’re receiving a call from Pod 4-92,” Communications Officer Bellemare announced.

“Open hailing frequencies and put them on the screen,” Alexander replied.

“Hailing frequencies open.”

The screen filled with the image of two men. “Greetings, Avs!” Captain Gabriel Landeskog said, while First Officer Tyson Barrie waved cheerfully. “Permission to dock and come aboard?”

“Permission granted,” Alexander smiled. “Welcome home.”

As the screen went blank and Belley announced that the call was over, Alexander leaned back in his chair. “I’m going to miss how comfortable this is.”

“You’ll have your own ship before you know it,” Security Officer Zadorov predicted.

A whistle sounded over the intercom. “Transport to bridge: Pod 4-92 has docked,” Engineer Francouz said. “The newlyweds are headed to you.”

“Thanks, Frankie.” Alexander looked across the bridge again – and held back a groan at how JT and Josty were inches away from actually touching.

The door opened with a whoosh. “Lieutenant Kerfoot, I hereby relieve you of the comm,” Gabe said. “You can debrief with Commander Barrie before resuming your normal duties.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.” Alexander stood up, waited for Gabe to sit down, then followed Tys out of the bridge and to the main meeting room. “How was Krona-Krona-Krona?”

“Gorgeous, just like its native son who’s now my husband.” They sat at the corner of the table. “We had dinner with Willy Nylander – he sends greetings from everyone on the _Maple Leaf_, even though you probably hear that from Mo, and demands your curried cauliflower recipe.”

“Never,” Alexander said in mock annoyance. He and Tys had spent two months on the space station _Maple Leaf_ for a course on post-natural disaster rebuilding; everyone had asked for the recipe more than once, but it was a Kerfoot family secret. “So, debrief: Ensigns Makar and Girard are continuing to assist Commander Johnson with his research on xeno-grains, the details of which I don’t understand. Dr. MacKinnon reports significant improvement in Counselor Wilson’s recovery from the accident on K’velurdu, but still no timeline on his return to duty. Chief Engineer Grubauer says Captain Landeskog’s quarters are ready for you to move in.”

Tys nodded. “Are we still on course to reach Seteyras in three days?”

“Yes. Captain Benn of the _Dallas_ says that the _Hurricane_ and _Columbus_ will arrive on the same day we do – a full reunion of the WCCS fleet.”

“Excellent,” Tys paused in thought. “Off the record, has anything changed between your old classmates, or are they still idiotically pining?”

“The latter,” Alexander groaned. “I don’t get it! Everyone knows that relationships between two people on the same level in the chain of command are allowed!”

“As evidenced by Z and Grubi, Gravy and Barbs, the ensigns…” Tys counted on his fingers. “At least two on the _Maple Leaf_, at –”

“Three.”

“Marner got promoted.”

“Mo didn’t tell me that!” Alexander sighed at his boyfriend’s failure, then groaned again. “But that’s not the point! Clearly, all those examples mean nothing to JT or Josty!”

Tys sighed, then gasped. “I remember Jamie telling me that he had to keep Tyler from locking their ensigns on a romantic holodeck! We can ask them about it on Seteyras!”

Alexander pondered this. Tys and Jamie, also known as Captain Benn, were childhood friends who spoke frequently. Tyler Seguin was the _Dallas_ equivalent of Tys: First Officer and Captain’s husband. His training was in diplomacy and counseling, which could prove useful in this situation. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

* * *

The _Avalanche_ reached the planet Seteyras three days later, right on schedule. As Alexander helped unload the supplies, he snuck a glance at his ship alongside three others. They were identical except for the crests on their bows: the _Avalanche_ bore a burgundy dog, the _Hurricane_ a red pig, the _Columbus_ a blue bee, and the _Dallas_ a green cow. The ships were arranged in such a way that the animals appeared to be smiling at each other, which seemed to symbolize the bond the four ships shared.

“ELVIS!” The crew of the _Columbus_ disembarked in a shouting mass, with Engineer Merzlikins being carried on the shoulders of Captain Foligno. “WE LOVE OUR ELVIS!”

“And our injured Joonas who can’t come out!” Elvis added quickly.

Everyone else started laughing. Z took the opportunity to smooch Grubi very loudly, while Frankie frowned, presumably missing his countryman from the _Eagle_ academy.

“We love you, Bish and Dobby, though not as much as you love each other!” Lieutenant Radulov of the _Dallas_ declared loudly.

“Well, we all love each other that much!” Captain Williams of the _Hurricane_ countered.

The locals laughed, while their leader beeped at Captain Benn. “Victor informs me that today is a holiday on Seteyras which celebrates love and friendship,” he explained. “He and a few others have prepared some traditional dishes for our lunch – AFTER we get organized!”

After about an hour, all the supplies were organized to help Seteyras rebuild following a series of earthquakes. Everyone proceeded to the large tent where lunch was being served. Alexander wasn’t surprised to see JT and Josty sharing a table for two, but he was surprised to see Tys walking over to him. “We’re talking to Jamie and Tyler now.”

“Okay.” Alexander followed Tys to a larger table, where Gabe, Captain Benn, and First Officer Seguin were already sitting. “Hi.”

“Hi, Alexander,” First Officer Seguin said. “Nobody special to eat with?”

“Not here – Mo is an officer on the _Maple Leaf_.”

“Boo!”

Captain Benn glared. “You’re no longer on the _Bruin_. Behave yourself.”

“Sorry, babe.” The space stations _Bruin_, _Maple Leaf_, and _Hab_ were long-time rivals for reasons nobody really understood. “So, Tys says your ship has a case of pining idiots?”

“I’m afraid so.” Alexander gave a quick explanation of the situation with JT and Josty. “Tys said it reminded him of your ensigns.”

“Ah, yes, Miro and Roope,” Captain Benn sighed. “Tyler wanted to lock them in a romantic holodeck, but I refused to give him the override codes.”

“That’s how Brad and Bergy got together on the _Bruin_!” First Officer Seguin argued. “They said nobody was in danger while they were there!”

“They lucked out.”

Before the debate could continue, Victor came to the table with a large tray of food. He cleared his throat and said, “Eat an’ en-goy!”

“Thank you,” Captain Benn said. Victor smiled and walked off. “So what we actually did was have Dr. Lindell, who’s from the same region as the ensigns, talk to them individually. Apparently, Miro was worried about one of them getting promoted, so Esa explained that Research and Medicine are separate tracks, meaning the promoted one wouldn’t be in charge of the other one, so it’d be fine. And Roope was nervous about being sent to a different ship or back to our Texas academy, so Esa gave him a few examples of long-distance relationships. Two days later, Tyler caught them making out in the hallway and told them he was happy for them, but they’d be better off somewhere less crowded.”

Alexander nodded thoughtfully. “I can talk to each of them. We were ensigns together.”

“Good luck,” Captain Benn said.

* * *

Alexander got his chance later that day, when he and JT were laying down the foundation of a new building. “You and Josty looked romantic at lunch today.”

JT blushed. “Well…I don’t think he likes me like that. I don’t want to mess with our working relationship or our friendship.”

“I’m pretty sure he likes you like that,” Alexander replied. “And even if he doesn’t, you’ll keep it from affecting your working relationship because you’re both adults.” (That last part didn’t always seem accurate given their behavior, but that wasn’t the point.)

“Oh.” JT looked thoughtful, but didn’t say anything else.

A couple of hours later, Alexander and Josty were assigned to work on preparing walls for a different building. “So…you and JT at a table for two on a romantic day…”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t think of it like that.” Josty ducked his head, but a blush was still visible. “We’re really good friends and work together. I can’t afford to rock the boat.”

“From what I saw, JT thought of it like that – and from what I see most days, he thinks of it like that most of the time, too, same as you.” Alexander forced himself not to laugh at Josty’s indignant expression. “The two of you should talk. Even if it doesn’t turn into more, you’ll be fine in the long run, I promise.”

“Okay.” Josty fell silent. Alexander figured he was pondering the situation and didn’t expect him to speak again, but then Josty asked quietly, “Will anybody care?”

“Everyone will be very happy for the both of you and express it in good-natured chirping.”

Josty nodded, a small smile on his face.

After dinner that night, Gabe called a meeting for everyone on the _Avalanche_. Belley, who was in charge of the attendance checklist, frowned at his tablet. “Two people missing, Captain.”

“Who?” Gabe asked.

“Lieutenant First Class Jost and Lieutenant First Class Compher, sir.”

“FINALLY!” Dr. MacKinnon shouted. “They were getting worse than Gabe and Tys!”

“Oh, like you and EJ were any better!” Tys snapped. Commander Johnson glared silently. “You know I’m right about you and Nate, so put that face away!”

The door opened with a whoosh. JT and Josty walked in, looking slightly dizzy but smiling brightly. Josty’s neck was about as red as JT’s hair, while JT’s neck was covered in bruises.

“I’m happy for you, but please remember that punctuality is important,” Gabe said. JT and Josty nodded sheepishly. “Okay, five minutes of acknowledging this, then the meeting, then you’re all free to do whatever, including further acknowledgement of this.”

Unsurprisingly, the room burst into wolf-whistles, applause, and good-natured chirping. Alexander sighed in relief – he found loving relationships much more tolerable than pining idiots.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! I'm very tempted to return to this AU, so let me know if you have ideas!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] The Lament of a Lieutenant (And Everyone Else on the Ship)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27093130) by [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70)


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